United We Move: Overcoming Financial and Intimate Challenges as a Trailing Spouse Abroad
When you and your partner decide on certain compromises, it doesn’t mean all the tough times or disagreements go away. This is true for arguments about money and problems in your relationship, including your sex life. When you move to a new place for your partner’s job, these issues can get even bigger and more stressful.
The Money Issue: Feeling Lost
If you moved with your partner and left your job behind, you might start to feel like you’re not in charge of your own life anymore, especially when it comes to money. Maybe you’re depending on your partner’s income now, and that can make you feel less important or confident. Arguing about money might happen more often, and it can make both you and your partner upset.
When Intimacy Fades: The Stress of a New Place
Lots of couples who move find that they’re not as close or don’t have sex as much as they used to. Dr. Barbara Cummings says that when couples move, their sex life usually suffers first. Feeling mad, really tired, or not talking enough can all cause this. When everything around you is new and you’re trying to get used to it, finding the time and mood for being close can be tough.
Talking Can Be Hard: Avoiding the Tough Topics
It’s really scary to talk about money and sex because you might not understand each other or someone’s feelings might get hurt. You might try to keep the peace by not bringing up these topics, but that can just make things more tense. It’s like trying to balance what you need with what your partner needs without causing an argument.
Trying to Keep Everything in Balance
It’s hard to keep everything going smoothly with money, sex, and feeling close to each other when you live abroad. You’re not the only one who feels like this is too much sometimes. Remember that other people have gone through this too and have felt disconnected from their partners in many ways.
Finding Your Way Together
Living abroad can shake up your life a lot, including how you handle money, your sex life, and how close you feel to your partner. But these things can get better. If it’s really hard for you to deal with these changes, think about talking to a psychologist who knows about relationship problems and what it’s like to move countries. They can give you advice that’s just right for you.
Feel hopeful because many people have gone through this and come out stronger. With some patience, talking things through, and maybe some help from a professional, you can get over these hurdles and your relationship can grow stronger.
Think of your marriage like a journey that has its own maps and tools to help you find your way. Sometimes, you just need someone to help you read them. Don’t wait—get some help if you need it. Your future together will be better for it.